You can almost smell the desperation in this plea from SarahPAC.

"Pony up bitchez! Mama needs some new shoes!

Courtesy of the US4Palin:

Dear SarahPAC Supporter, 

During these tough economic times, struggling families and individuals across America need leadership and solutions. In his address to Congress last week, our President offered only recycled proposals that have been proven to fail. 

Increasing spending and expanding government control over the lives of hardworking Americans is not the solution to our broken economy. Mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren will not ensure a better situation today, but it will ensure greater burdens in the future. 

With the Presidential election right around the corner, Governor Palin has to make the important decision of whether or not to run for office. You’ve supported SarahPAC’s past efforts to defeat Obama liberals across the country, and I’m asking for your help again. 

Let’s show Governor Palin that she has our support as she faces this crucial decision! 

America is facing a tough road back to prosperity, but we can get there with commonsense conservative leadership from Governor Palin and the support of the Tea Party Revolution she led during the 2010 mid-term elections. 

Our President has failed to take the initiative required to ease the economic difficulties facing our nation, and we need real change. 

Will you support Governor Palin with a generous donation to SarahPAC today? 

Thank you for your continuing support of Governor Palin and SarahPAC. You can also help her by sharing our message with your friends and family on Facebook and Twitter! 

Sincerely, 

Tim CrawfordTreasurer, SarahPAC 

This is beginning to feel like an abusive marriage.

 "Honey I promise to NEVER hit you (up for money) again! I love and need you(r financial support) and this relationship is too important for me (to help pay my bills and make me feel relevant) to give up on it. Won't you please give me just one more chance (to get all of your money before I run out of time and everybody KNOWS I am not running)?"

I have a number of theories as to WHY we are seeing yet another plea for money from the Palin panty sniffers at this time. Here let me list them for you:

• Palin KNOWS she has only limited time before Joe's book comes out and wants to scoop up as much cash as possible before she has to go into hiding.
• Family needs new influx of cash because Levi's book is destroying the chances of Sarah's back up grifter Bristol, to continue making money by marketing herself as an innocent teen mom turned abstinence preacher. And she can't turn around and market herself as what she is, an emasculating harpy bitch who manipulates everybody around her, because her mother already has that role locked up.
• Sister Sarah's last wig bit right through her botoxed forehead, and now she requires a serious of very expensive rabies and distemper shots.
• Todd has seen the writing on the walls and is renegotiating his contract before agreeing to continue to pose as her happily married sexually ambivalent husband and hand bag carrier.
• In anticipation of the media onslaught to come after Levi, Joe, and Fred's books hits the stands, family has decided to equip the Palin fortress with a moat and some machine gun turrets.
• Five words, "Shailey got her cellphone back!"
• In light of recent revelations Palin needs to hire a personal trainer and some look-a-likes to help her prepare for a marathon, find somebody to ghostwrite a book that she can put her hoofprint on that will actually sell, and pay some of those darkies to pose as friends of the family to address the charges of racism.
• Need to hire better comment writers to monitor The Immoral Minority and convince visitors that, (1) Sarah doesn't pay attention to blogs, (2) Gryphen is just making stuff up, (3) the Palin family is a close loving family as proven by pictures that nobody ever sees, and (4) Bristol has only been pregnant three one time, and that was only because she was date raped by Levi Johnston.

Not to be cynical (Which as we all know I NEVER am!) but somehow I don't believe that Palin is going to be able to shake much pocket change loose from these people this time.  I mean, yes they are extraordinarily slow to recognize the obvious, but even the blind man will eventually realize that the elevator which seems to be taking forever to reach his floor is in reality just a coat closet.

Let's start the day with a hearty laugh at the Palin-bots expense shall we?

(With a very appreciative Hat Tip to the very clever and creative Love and Knishes.)

SarahPAC creates another campaign commercial for Sarah Palin's non-existent campaign.

So let me get this straight.

SarahPAC spends their donations on air travel, bus rental, and hotel costs for Sarah Palin, and whichever family member she can bribe/convince/threaten to come with her, so that she can travel to a certain venue in the United States.

Then Palin is filmed walking around, shaking hands, and answering a few reporters questions.

That footage is then very carefully edited to make it appear that she did something political. 

The same soaring soundtrack that was in her previous pseudo political advertisements is then added to tug at the heartstrings of the viewers.

After that the whole thing is thrown up on various pro-Palin websites to encourage MORE donations to SarahPAC, which are necessary to pay for the NEXT fake political appearance, in order to obtain MORE footage to use in the NEXT fake political commercial, which can then be used to grift MORE money from the slowest learners on the planet.

Do I have that about right?

A couple of things to note.

First, we now understand the reason behind this huge, gaudy bracelet that Palin wore in Iowa. 

If you watch the video you will notice that EVERY time she shakes someones hand the red, white and ridiculous accoutrement is prominently displayed, sending the subliminal message that Palin is super-duper patriotic.

Second there were also a large number of brown people in the video, which proves, once again, that Palin is definitely reading the comments here and recognized that people noticed that her other videos had featured ONLY white folks.

Third, there was a LOT of effort this time to show Palin answering questions from REPORTERS.

Clearly that is in response to criticisms that she never spoke to any members of the press except Fox News talking heads.  Which means to me, that Palin purposefully went out of her way to talk to reporters specifically for THIS video.

"Wait, are you saying that she used me?"

Yes Don Lemon, yes I am.

So Palin swoops into Iowa, distracts the media from covering the REAL candidates running for the GOP nomination, and gets a fundraising video out of the deal as well. Pretty slick.

The only down side for Sister Sarah is that she managed to piss off almost everybody who ever supported her.  But as long as she can still string along the dipshits over at the Sea O' Pea, and get them to send her their hard earned money, I am not sure she even gives a flying crap about whose toes she steps on.

Which I guess really only leaves one question left to answer about Snowdrift Snooki's next move.

(H/T to Azure Ghost for the graphic.)

Lawmakers puzzled by last minute SarahPAC donations. "Uh, thanks?" Update!

"Dear (fill in the blank), thank you for being a common sense patriot, that ignores silly distractions like logic or facts. Here's some money."

Courtesy of The Hill:

The 13 lawmakers who received campaign donations from former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) have one thing in common — none of them got advance notice the checks were coming.

Palin distributed $65,000 to candidates during the first half of this year, according to a Federal Election Commission (FEC) filing this month by Sarah PAC, Palin's political action committee.

But the lawmakers who received donations said they never heard from the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee — and possible 2012 presidential candidate — or her representatives about the money.

"The check showed up; there was no discussion ahead of time," said a spokesman for the campaign of Rep. Vicky Hartzler (R-Mo.), one of 11 House Republicans and two GOP senators to receive donations.
The contributions were unsolicited and unheralded, according to the lawmakers who received the donations and their campaign committees.

Palin doled out the maximum $5,000 to 13 incumbent Republicans: Sens. Bob Corker (Tenn.) and Roger Wicker (Miss.) both received donations, as did Reps. Lou Barletta (Pa.), Larry Bucshon (Ind.), Ann Marie Buerkle (N.Y.), Francisco "Quico" Canseco (Texas), Mike Coffman (Colo.), Sean Duffy (Wis.), Renee Ellmers (N.C.), Mike Fitzpatrick (Pa.), Martha Roby (Ala.), Allen West (Fla.) and Hartzler.

The contributions were all made on the penultimate day of the second quarter, June 29, with the exception of one sent to Coffman, which was a debt retirement check sent Jan. 31.

You know I hate to be negative, but it KIND of seems that the super sharp accountants running SarahPAC were completely caught off guard by the fact that it was the end of the quarter, and time to quickly dole out some money to politicians in order to continue the facade that they are a political action committee, and not just a tax free pool of readily available money that Sarah Palin can use for things like bus tours, baby nannies, road kill inspired fright wigs, and of course monetary gifts for those who troll the internet leaving nasty remarks on liberal blogs on Palin's behalf. (You don't expect Bristol, Willow, and Piper to get real jobs do you?)

And what makes me think it was last minute?

In the cases of Corker and Wicker, Palin's contributions are especially head-scratching for political observers because of the ire both members have drawn from the right. Wicker has long been known as an advocate of so-called pork projects, and conservatives bristled at Corker's work with then-Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) last year on Wall Street reform legislation. (Corker eventually bailed from talks.)

"Wicker and Corker in particular make exciting prospects for the Tea Party movement," wrote Erick Erickson, the head of the influential conservative blog RedState, the day after last fall's election.

Hmm, it sort of looks like WHOEVER made the decision as to which lawmakers were to receive this $65,000 did their research by simply visiting Redstate and reading that old article, and did not bother to find out if the individuals named were STILL embracing teabagger ideals.  Doesn't it?

Well perhaps I am being too much of a cynic (I do that sometimes), surely the people of SarahPAC would be happy to clear this up.

A spokesman for Sarah PAC did not respond to emails seeking an explanation as to the former governor's contributions.

Or then again, perhaps not. 

You know maybe if the little SarahPAC elves were to follow their Queen's example, and write on their hands that they needed to make a few political donations BEFORE the end of the quarter, they might not look like such complete amateurs.

No your eyes are not deceiving you, the moron is STILL writing notes on her hand.

After all, look how intelligent it makes her appear!

Update: Just to rub salt in this wound, I now have learned that many of the lawmakers who received donations from SarahPAC also voted to RAISE THE DEBT CEILING.


Sens. Bob Corker Tennessee and Roger Wicker of Mississippi both voted for the compromise and had already received $5,000 donations from SarahPAC this year. So did Reps. Lou Barletta of Pennsylvania, Larry Bucshon of Indiana, Francisco "Quico" Canseco of Texas, Mike Coffman of Colorado (whose check was not designated for his 2012 race, but was instead donated to help retire his 2008 debt), Sean Duffy of Wisconsin, Renee Ellmers of North Carolina, Mike Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania and Allen West of Florida.

If you will excuse me I think I will try to be a little helpful for a change, make a call to Sears, and put a new refrigerator on layaway for the Palins.  Somehow I think they are going to need one.

Two of Sarah Palin's aides sign on for speaking tours. What do we think, getting second jobs due to lack of SarahPAC funds or jumping ship because Palin's political future is doomed?

Courtesy of ABC News:

Despite SarahPAC’s reputation for secrecy and discretion, ABC News has learned that two Sarah Palin staffers have signed on with a speaking agency. At this point, it’s unclear whether the aides have signed on to dish about their boss, who’ve they’ve had an on again/off again relationship with or if Palin even knows about their foray into the world of paid speeches.

Palin staffers Jason Recher and Doug McMarlin have signed on with the speaking agency, The American Program Bureau. According to the agency's website, they are available to be paid to speak on topics that include “From 9/11 to Katrina: Lessons for Leaders in the Face of Crisis” and “Designer Politics: A New Age of Political Power.”

Recher was one of Palin’s longest serving and trusted aides; he initially met her on the vice-presidential campaign in 2008 and became one of SarahPAC’s first staffers. He also worked on her “Going Rogue” book tour and a number of political and speaking events before parting ways around the midterm elections last year.

After the campaign, Recher and McMarlin founded NorthStar Strategies, which ran SarahPAC’s logistical operations as well as assisting with strategy and some limited press communications. Although Recher did do some political advising for her during the 2008 campaign and was her closest advisor when SarahPAC launched, by the time they left the organization both McMarlin and Recher’s roles had shifted and they were both relegated to strictly doing advance work.

Recher and McMarlin did re-join the SarahPAC organization when Palin launched her bus tour last May, but it’s not clear if the two were on board for only that one trip or if they will advance other legs of the tour if she does re-launch it. NorthStar Strategies was listed on Palin’s last FEC report released earlier this month, showing payments for logistical consulting in January and February and logistical trip consulting in May as well as reimbursements.

You know the return of Recher and McMartin to SarahPAC was cited as proof that Palin was serious about running, because, it was argued, why else would she need political staffers?

I assume the same logic could now be used to address this new turn of events.  If Palin were indeed about to launch a national campaign for President, how in the world would these two possibly have time to give speeches?

By the way I cannot imagine now many people would be interested in paying Jason Recher to speak about "Designer Politics" after the Sarah Palin bus tour fiasco. I would think he would expunge that from his resume just as fast as humanly possible.

Now if he is willing to dish on what was happening behind the scenes at SarahPAC, and with Palin and her Wasilla-billy family, THAT might be worth paying to hear!

SarahPAC paid $13,708 to decorate Sarah's bus so she could go on a five day vacation. How is that fiscal conservative BS working for ya? Update!

Courtesy of The Note:

Sarah Palin spent almost $14,000 to adorn her “One Nation” tour bus with larger-than-life renditions of the Constitution, Liberty Bell, and her signature.

That’s one of hundreds of expenditures listed in SarahPAC’s semi-annual FEC report, which was filed online today. The former Alaska governor’s political action committee paid $13,708.44 to the Tennessee company Fast Signs for “Bus Wrap” on May 26, three days before her tour of the northeast kicked off.

Unbelievable that the poor, undereducated paint chip eaters that are still dreaming of a Sarah Palin Presidency, spent almost $14,000 to decorate a bus so that their idol (And the only family member that could stand her) could visit tourist attractions for five days, while continuing to play the political prick tease in order to attract the publicity that she so desperately craves.

That is almost $3000 a day!  And what did the Palin-bots GET for their hard earned money?

This:



And of course this. Not to mention this. And really who could forget this? Which of course inevitably led to this.

Well gee that was such a good investment I wonder what else Palin spent her supporter's retirement savings on?

SarahPAC raised $1,658,897 during the first six months of 2011 and spent $1,591,520. The PAC has $1,402,368 cash on hand. In a statement, SarahPAC treasurer Tim Crawford told ABC News that the group “more than doubled the amount we raised as compared to the same time period in 2009. We received more than 36,700 contributions from over 24,000 contributors.”

Among SarahPAC’s other noteworthy disbursements:

-- $26,295.47 to a Visa/BankCard payment center in Dallas, Tex. for “Air Fare, Lodging, Car Rental, Wireless.” The date of disbursement is June 2, the day she visited Massachusetts and New Hampshire. 
Presumably, the sum accounts for some of the cost of her “One Nation” tour. 


So besides the $14,000 she wasted on this "bus tour" she also spent an additional $26,000 on air fare, lodging, and "CAR RENTAL!"  What the hell for? She had a bus with $14,000 worth of decorations on it that she could both live in AND use for transportation!


-- $5,794 to Israel’s Sar-El Tours and Travel for a“Tour of Holy Land.” Palin visited Israel in March and met with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Oh yeah, that trip ALSO turned out well.

-- $18,700 to Young America’s Foundation, a conservative outreach organization aimed at students.

Is that how much the brain washing of young people costs these days? How much do you want to bet she could not get HER kids to attend if she duct taped them to the top of her car and drove their ass there?

-- $10,000 to Peter Schweizer for “Research Consulting.” Schweizer is a conservative author based in Florida who Palin hired as her foreign policy adviser in May.

I wonder if part of his advice was for Palin to hide in her room for two days while visiting India in order to avoid the locals?

-- $5,416.66 to Anchorage, Alaska’s True North L'Attitudes for scheduling.

-- $683 to the Nashville, Tenn. store Nico & LaLa for bookmarks.

There is in fact much more in these filings, which you can find here.

I have a feeling that this is just the beginning and that we will learn much more about how Sarah wastes her supporters money in the days, and weeks ahead.

You know some days I feel bad for the people who are so besotted with Sarah Palin that they will allow her to take such advantage of them.  Today is not one of those days.

You people are idiots, and she's a fraud, move on!

Update: It looks like the Washington Post has uncovered evidence that Palin's bus tour might actually have cost even MORE than we thought. Seriously?

But the total for the trip is likely much more, because many bills came in after the June 30 filing deadline, Sarah PAC treasurer Tim Crawford said in an interview. In addition, many other expenses associated with the trip, such as photography, videography, Internet fundraising and airfare, are more difficult to account for. (One item in the report describes $6,999 paid to an air charter company called Republican Presidential Travel on June 9, at the tail end of “One Nation.”)

Wait, what?  There is a such thing as a "Republican Presidential Travel" airline?  I have never heard of that.

And by the way neither have the folks over at Talking Points Memo. But they did learn THIS:


Doug Garrett, the former owner of Moby Dick Airways, told TPM that Republican Presidential Travel is headquartered in Alaska and under an agreement with the new owner of Moby Dick Airways only does charters in Alaska. He referred questions specifically about the services his company provided to Palin to SarahPAC.

Okay by a show of hands, does ANYBODY have any doubt that this airline is somehow ONLY providing flights to a certain half-term governor?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Emerging from the darkest depths of Mordor comes.... an e-mail from SarahPAC! Quick, somebody cue the spooky music!

One of my double agents over at SarahPAC sent me this:

Team Sarah
American Values in Action.
A message to all members of Team Sarah

Team,

SarahPAC (https://www.sarahpacdonate.com/) recently sent out a letter to their mailing list with a very special offer related to the exciting new feature-length film about Governor Sarah Palin entitled “The Undefeated”. By contributing $100.00 or more, SarahPAC will send you an early-release DVD copy of “The Undefeated” as soon as it is released this summer! If you prefer to mail a check, please include a note that you would like to receive “The Undefeated” DVD and mail to: SarahPAC, PO Box 220700, Arlington, VA 22207-9921.

We can assure you that Stephen Bannon’s “The Undefeated” will make you laugh, cheer, and perhaps even bring a tear to your eye as the film tells the story of Sarah Palin’s rise from a simple upbringing (one that most of us can relate to) to her appearance on the national stage in 2008 and beyond. You’ll see never released footage of Sarah as a young girl, interviews with the “Magnificent 7” (For more about the so-called "Magnificent 7" click here.) and learn more about her strong leadership as Alaska’s governor. “The Undefeated” is a classic American story of determination, perseverance, and the true meaning of serving the public with a “servant’s heart.” (Gak! Sorry that made me throw up in my mouth a little.)

Having the early-release DVD in your own home will allow you to not only to share it with friends, family, and “fence-sitters” but you will also have a permanent souvenir of your “Undefeated” theater experience. We all know that it’s great to see a movie in the convenience of your own home but the “big-screen” experience is not to be missed either. Sharing that experience and witnessing the reaction of others to this film is an event not to be missed. You can reserve theater tickets for the July 15th weekend premieres here: http://theundefeated.cinedigm.com/tickets.html

“The Undefeated” will be released in other cities at AMC Theaters and Team Sarah will let you keep you informed as we receive information. ("Team Sarah will let you keep you informed?" Sarah, is that you?)

Best,
The Tiny Team Behind the Team
teamsarahhq@gmail.com

Are they seriously asking for $100 for this lousy "documentary?" 

Look I am a HUGE movie fan, and I am perfectly willing to fork over $24.00 for a Blue-Ray disc, chock full of razor sharp images, amazing special effects, behind the scenes footage, and an alternative "Director's Cut" ending, but unless this DVD cleans my house, makes me dinner, and gives me a massage with a "special ending" there is NO WAY would I pay a hundred dollars to own it!

All this DVD offers is a highly sanitized version of the career of a woman who is so incredibly disliked in her home state, one of the reddest states in the country by the way, that Alaskans would choose Barack Obama over her for President if she ran against him. 

It is almost like she is trying to drive the last of her supporters away by hitting them up for money every chance she gets until they are either too poor to give, or too disgusted to care.

Palin's defenders have been suggesting that the people who are trying to destroy Sarah Palin MUST be working for President Obama. 

So Sarah?  Is that true?  Do YOU work for President Obama?

Because NOBODY has done more to damage Sarah Palin, than Sarah Palin herself!

(Now Palin-bots don't bother trying to get me to reveal the name of my spy, I'll never tell! Why I can only imagine what terrible things might happen to poor Becky if yo....uh oh!)