Tuesday, September 13, 2011

You can almost smell the desperation in this plea from SarahPAC.

"Pony up bitchez! Mama needs some new shoes!
Courtesy of the US4Palin:

Dear SarahPAC Supporter, 

During these tough economic times, struggling families and individuals across America need leadership and solutions. In his address to Congress last week, our President offered only recycled proposals that have been proven to fail. 

Increasing spending and expanding government control over the lives of hardworking Americans is not the solution to our broken economy. Mortgaging the future of our children and grandchildren will not ensure a better situation today, but it will ensure greater burdens in the future. 

With the Presidential election right around the corner, Governor Palin has to make the important decision of whether or not to run for office. You’ve supported SarahPAC’s past efforts to defeat Obama liberals across the country, and I’m asking for your help again. 

Let’s show Governor Palin that she has our support as she faces this crucial decision! 

America is facing a tough road back to prosperity, but we can get there with commonsense conservative leadership from Governor Palin and the support of the Tea Party Revolution she led during the 2010 mid-term elections. 

Our President has failed to take the initiative required to ease the economic difficulties facing our nation, and we need real change. 

Will you support Governor Palin with a generous donation to SarahPAC today? 

Thank you for your continuing support of Governor Palin and SarahPAC. You can also help her by sharing our message with your friends and family on Facebook and Twitter! 

Sincerely, 

Tim CrawfordTreasurer, SarahPAC 

This is beginning to feel like an abusive marriage.

 "Honey I promise to NEVER hit you (up for money) again! I love and need you(r financial support) and this relationship is too important for me (to help pay my bills and make me feel relevant) to give up on it. Won't you please give me just one more chance (to get all of your money before I run out of time and everybody KNOWS I am not running)?"

I have a number of theories as to WHY we are seeing yet another plea for money from the Palin panty sniffers at this time. Here let me list them for you:
  • Palin KNOWS she has only limited time before Joe's book comes out and wants to scoop up as much cash as possible before she has to go into hiding.
  • Family needs new influx of cash because Levi's book is destroying the chances of Sarah's back up grifter Bristol, to continue making money by marketing herself as an innocent teen mom turned abstinence preacher. And she can't turn around and market herself as what she is, an emasculating harpy bitch who manipulates everybody around her, because her mother already has that role locked up.
  • Sister Sarah's last wig bit right through her botoxed forehead, and now she requires a serious of very expensive rabies and distemper shots.
  • Todd has seen the writing on the walls and is renegotiating his contract before agreeing to continue to pose as her happily married sexually ambivalent husband and hand bag carrier.
  • In anticipation of the media onslaught to come after Levi, Joe, and Fred's books hits the stands, family has decided to equip the Palin fortress with a moat and some machine gun turrets.
  • Five words, "Shailey got her cellphone back!"
  • In light of recent revelations Palin needs to hire a personal trainer and some look-a-likes to help her prepare for a marathon, find somebody to ghostwrite a book that she can put her hoofprint on that will actually sell, and pay some of those darkies to pose as friends of the family to address the charges of racism.
  • Need to hire better comment writers to monitor The Immoral Minority and convince visitors that, (1) Sarah doesn't pay attention to blogs, (2) Gryphen is just making stuff up, (3) the Palin family is a close loving family as proven by pictures that nobody ever sees, and (4) Bristol has only been pregnant three one time, and that was only because she was date raped by Levi Johnston.
Not to be cynical (Which as we all know I NEVER am!) but somehow I don't believe that Palin is going to be able to shake much pocket change loose from these people this time.  I mean, yes they are extraordinarily slow to recognize the obvious, but even the blind man will eventually realize that the elevator which seems to be taking forever to reach his floor is in reality just a coat closet.