Bill Maher on Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and the President's speech.

(Don't worry this is the Tonight Show so Bill kept it clean.)(H/T to Politicususa.)

Did you see Michele Bachmann's rebuttal of President Obama's speech? Well you are not alone.

I don't know why everyone keeps saying that she is finished as a candidate.

I mean she can still draw a crowd.

A dozen people IS considered a crowd, right?

Dozens upon dozens show up to hear Sarah Palin give a speech in a pitch that only dogs and porpoises can hear.

Photos courtesy of Slates' Dave Weigel:

 Fox News reported that she "drew hundreds of supporters to Monday afternoon's rally."

However according to Wiegel (Who is such an objective reporter that I believe he wears his patented Sarah Palin Underoos when he covers her events), said that the "crowd" dispersed after Palin finished scaring away the pigeons and deafening small children for a three mile radius.

If that is true then how do we explain this video apparently taken in between Palin's speech and the appearance of Sharon Angle and Buddy Roehmer?


Just how fast did that crowd "disperse?" Was there a fire?
Perhaps the Teabaggers are just not that into the Palin political prick tease anymore?  Here is more from that Fox News report:

A New Hampshire tea party leader couldn't hold back his frustration Sunday night at another rally hosted by the Tea Party Express. 

"Once again it is time to determine-- are you here to sell books or are you here to run for president of the United States?" asked Corey Lewandowski, state director for Americans for Prosperity, a tea party ally. "The people of New Hampshire deserve to know, are you serious? And if you are serious, then welcome to the race. And if you're not serious, get out of the way because we're going to elect a new president." 

Aside from Monday's visit -- her second in New Hampshire over the last three months -- local operatives say Palin has not moved to hire staff or organize a ground game here in the state that will host the nation's first presidential primary in roughly five months. 

"At this late stage, there's been so little infrastructure work for a potential candidacy, I think this is simply Sarah Palin wanting to be part of the process and to help shape the debate for the presidential campaign," said Michael Dennehy, who led Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign four years ago, but is uncommitted this year. "At some point immediately -- meaning the next week or two -- she's going to hurt herself badly if she does not announce that she's not going to run for president." 

The head of prominent Granite State conservative think, also a tea party ally, says there is a growing sense of indifference among local conservatives. 

"If she had done it right she could be popular here," said Kevin Smith, executive director of Cornerstone. "But I don't feel a lot of energy or enthusiasm here about a Palin run. Voters here in this state, who frankly have been taking this primary seriously since the beginning of the year, are indifferent." 

Some have been asking WHY Palin might have faked participating in that Iowa half marathon on Sunday.  This is why.

Just like like writing fake letters of support to the local newspapers, wearing glasses that she does not need to hide her lazy eye, or faking a pregnancy to garner support from the pro-life people, THIS is the purely cosmetic approach that Sarah Palin uses to drum up support, or portray herself as healthy, or convince people she is still the gung-ho politician that she was during her campaign for governor.

If you know ANYTHING about Sarah Palin you have to know that her doing something like that is not only feasible, it is predictable.

Sarah Palin pulls it together in Indianola, Iowa for last ditch effort to stay relevant to her Teabagger base.

Wearing more body padding than a NFL linebacker, more makeup than circus clown, and many times almost screaming her attacks on President Obama, Sarah Palin puts on quite a show in Iowa.

After seeing what she was like yesterday I had my doubts that Palin could get her shit together for this speech. But you have to hand it to her, when it is time to shake her carefully padded money maker she knows exactly how hard to shake it, and whose face to shake it in.

Clearly this was a speech that somebody worked on for quite some time.

It did not seem to miss one opportunity to attack President Obama, one opportunity to suck up to the Teabaggers, or one opportunity to put her GOP rivals on notice that she can still give them a run for their money. At one point Palin even kissed up to the corporations who have not always been her biggest fans by calling for the end to ALL corporate income taxes.

I have to admit I was very impressed with how her special effects team was able to transform her from the frail, sickly creature we saw yesterday to the Dolly Parton lookalike that stood on that stage in Iowa today.

Well what can you expect from the woman who successfully fooled virtually every journalist in the world into believing that she was pregnant and gave birth in 2008? Hell compared to that, this was a walk in the park for the queen of body morphing.

However those who have been paying attention know what Sarah Palin REALLY looks like.

And it ain't Dolly Parton!

The "Vaguely Bearded One" gives a speech to a vaguely crowded room in Juneau. Well now, it appears that poor Joe Miller is "All bag, and no tea."

The lady radiating crazy like the sun radiates heat on the left is ex-SNL alum Victoria Jackson.

Courtesy of the Juneau Empire:

Former Republican Senate candidate Joe Miller returned to Juneau Tuesday, accompanied by some of his current political allies and continuing to challenge the Nov. 2010 election he lost at the polls — and then again in the courts. 

But where Miller says he’s really been vindicated is in claims about opponent Lisa Murkowski, who bested him in a history-making write-in campaign. 

“It’s been absolutely no surprise, she’s been voting as we portrayed her during the campaign, as a liberal,” he said. 

Passing through Juneau during a Tea Party at Sea cruise aboard the Celebrity Millennium, Miller met with local supporters Tuesday evening. 

Miller explained his new political action committee, or PAC, and website, RestoringLibertyAlaska.us, which he said which will represent and organize citizens now ignored by the state’s institutions and political parties. 

 Vindictive spiteful little shit, still bellyaching about how unfair it was that Alaskans sent his ass packing. Yep that sounds like a Sarah Palin protege to me!

And just in case you thought that Miller was the "Baron of Batshit" on this ship of fools, take a listen to what the OTHER Teabaggers on this cruise to crazytown had to say.

Other tea party activists accompanied Miller to Nugget Mall from the cruise as they tried to fire up a dozen or so supporters from Juneau.He said the turnout was pretty good, given that Juneau is “not necessarily a bastion of conservatism.” 

The comment drew rueful chuckles from the audiencesJerome Corsi, author of “Obama Nation,” an attack on President Barack Obama, and former Saturday Night Live cast member Victoria Jackson made even harsher attacks on Obama than did Miller. 

Corsi said Obama isn’t qualified to be president because he isn’t a natural-born citizen, despite the president’s public release of a copy of his birth certificate. 

“I’m still saying that what we’ve seen is a forgery,” he said. 

Corsi challenged Obama’s Christianity, as well as his politics. 

“There’s a communist living in the White House,” he said. 

Jackson said she only recently got involved in politics and discovered that Obama was a communist. She endorsed Miller’s call for tea party members to get involved in efforts such as serving as local poll workers, which she said now are “mostly old hippies.” 

Miller said he hasn’t ruled against running against Sen. Mark Begich, Rep. Don Young, or even Murkowski again in five years.

Yeah you keep telling yourself you have a chance of getting elected to ANYTHING in Alaska after hanging out with THIS group of nitwits!

I have little doubt that even crusty old Alaskan Republicans can smell mooseshit this pungent. Even if it is drifting to them all the way from Juneau!

By the way remember how Miller said "the turnout was pretty good, given that Juneau is not necessarily a bastion of conservatism?"  Well he is overstating that by QUITE a margin.

It just so happens that we had a little spy from IM there at the same time that Miller was underwhelming the people of Juneau. Here is their report (With all portions removed which might have helped identify this brave soul.):

The Tea Party Cruise to Alaska speakers that I saw today were all respectful and quiet out at the Mendenhall Glacier. 

I believe I saw Joseph and Elizabeth Farah. 

None of the other speakers featured at teapartyatsea.com were there, or at least I did not recognize them. There were several people from the cruise that were out at the glacier, but all were respectful of the bears and salmon, asked lots of questions about the wildlife and glacier, but did not expound on their political views. 

There was one gentleman talking loudly about his warm ups for the crowds (jokes according to him), but then only to a couple that were in agreement with him. 

His joke was "How is Berkeley like Moscow? They're both communist, but Berkeley is more so." 

He laughed heartily, the couple laughed a little, and that was it. 

I did go by the Nugget Mall where Joe Miller was appearing. When I got there at 5:05, Miller and his wife were sitting in the main hallway near JoAnn's fabric store on a bench. 

He was being "interviewed" by a woman who looks like Victoria Jackson from the teapartyatsea website. 

She is much older than her picture. 

There was also a man I did not recognize from the Juneau Empire (He is not on their website) listening to Joe give an interview. I believe both of these people were recording the "interview." 

There were 8 people and 3 kids in the room where Joe later spoke. 

That included Jerome Corsi who seemed very bored with the locals that were there. 

There were no posters, no signs, nothing to indicate what the group was, who was speaking, or anything else. 

I left to do grocery shopping and then came back at 5:35. At that point there were 19 people in the room including Joe and his wife. 

Victoria Jackson was giving the "warm up" and introduced Joe, who started speaking at 5:40. 

Sorry, but if that is the best the local Tea Partiers could muster for a turn out and no advertising other than a mention on KTOO on Monday, that is just pathetic! 

Seventeen people show up to hear you speak and THAT is a "good turnout?" No that is what is normally referred to as "pathetic," not "good."

So Joe draws a crowd of seventeen, Christine O"Donnell draws a crowd of five to her book signing, and Sarah Palin tries to wriggle out her appearance with the Tea Party of America in Iowa.

Is it just me, or does it seem that this whole Teabagger thing has just about run its course?

(Let me give thanks to my friend in Juneau who subjected themselves to the pain of having to listen to Joe Miller speak just to give us all the above "boots on the ground" report.  I hope they went home and had a stiff drink after that, because clearly they deserved it!)

Palin is making the Teabaggers jump through hoops with the promise she MIGHT show up on Saturday.

Courtesy of the Des Moines Register:

Christine O’Donnell is off the guest list – again – and Sarah Palin is a “maybe.” 

In the latest episode in the drama over the speaking lineup for Saturday’s Tea Party of America rally in Iowa, organizer Ken Crow said Palin’s staff called this morning to say Palin’s appearance at the rally was “on hold” until three changes were made. 

“They said, ‘Ken, can you take care of bing, bing, bing’ and I said, ‘Yessir, I will’ and I did,” Crow, an Indianola Republican told The Des Moines Register. 

“Now I’m waiting to hear back.”Crow said two of the requests were logistical details: Email a copy of the program today, and address concerns about back-stage security and who will be allowed in that area. 

Asked about the third request, Crow said: “Can I let that remain private for now?” 

Meanwhile, Crow telephoned staff for O’Donnell, a Delaware Republican who ran for the U.S. Senate, to say she can’t speak at Saturday’s event. 

“We’re all friends and she’s not coming,” he said, referring to O’Donnell.

Five points to the person who correctly guesses which THIRD change had to be made. And the first two don't count.

Oh yeah Christine, that was ALL about you baby.

Personally I am disgusted with these baggers for letting Palin treat them like her own personal handbag carriers and ass-wipers.  I mean hell THAT'S Tawd's job!

I hope that somebody takes that Mudflats post and e-mails it to Ken Crow, you know if you had access to his e-mail address, you know like this one right here for instance: ken@teapartyofamerica.org.

Not that I'm suggesting that anybody do that, after all Ken has so much on his plate already.

But if it were ME I would certainly like to know what kind of lunatic was making me look like an idiot in front of the press.

Mudflats is a MUST read today. Update: Palin QUITS Iowa speech!

If you have not been there yet, I suggest that you do not delay as it has confirmation of many of the stories about the Palins that we have been hearing for a long time. (Just click here to visit.)

They do not say anything too revelatory about babygate (If Frank actually knows the truth, as has been suggested, then it appears he did not share it, or swore Jeanne and Ken to secrecy), but it does suggest what others in her inner circle thought might be the reason she was so tiny throughout her pregnancy.

The claim that Sarah was never actually pregnant with her special needs child Trig—a widely circulated rumor that became known as “Babygate”—was partially based on Sarah shocking the world by announcing her pregnancy at seven months. Prior to that, nobody had suspected a thing. The revelation was even a surprise to staff, Frank Bailey, and the media. Even State Senator (and, according to Sarah and staff an evil-doer) Lyda Greene incredulously said, “It’s wonderful. She’s very well disguised. When I was five months pregnant, there was absolutely no question that I was with child.” 

How did Sarah manage to hide that pregnancy for so long? That question seemed to defy explanation to all except a small number of personal insiders who expressed alarming speculation. During her pregnancy with Piper (and it was suggested later with Trig), Todd asked a friend whom he thought knew about such matters, “As unhealthy as her eating is, what can those diet pills do to the baby?” 

The friend explained to him, “I’m not sure, but I’d be concerned about having a failure-to-thrive child.” (Failure to thrive is where there is a significant interruption in the expected growth rate during early childhood and can result from malnutrition). Was Sarah so vain as to try and hide her pregnancy and prolong her petite, almost perfect figure through drastic means? It’s a proposition that shocked everyone, including, reportedly, her husband.

This might have been something that was discussed by people with no understanding of pregnancy but as many of you can probably already surmise for yourselves, the diet pills might help to keep most of a soon-to-be-mother's body slim, the baby is still growing inside of her, and it would in fact look even MORE pronounced against an emaciated frame.

And as you can see from these two pictures taken on March 26, 2008, Palin did NOT appear nearly as skinny as we see her today, nor does she appear pregnant. She might have been taking diet pills at this time, but it in NO WAY explains the oddness of the square pillow in her belly.

Nor does it explain how she ballooned up to to her April 13 size in just a few weeks.

However we were to desperately cling to that explanation instead of admitting the truth that should be obvious to everybody who saw her then you would have expected  Trig to have been equally as emaciated when he emerged from his starvation period in the womb, and as you can see by pictures of the child presented as Trig by the Heaths on the day of his "birth" such was not the case.

Like I said, binging and purging, and pounding down diet pills does not adequately explain this bizarre "pregnancy."

I don't know why this is still being trotted out as a possible excuse by people who I am relatively certain do not buy into it, but I think most people, who are NOT trying to protect Palin's birth mythology, are well aware of what the overwhelming evidence demonstrates.

Having said that I still suggest that you head on over to the Mudflats and read the article as it is chock full of information about Todd and Sarah's battles, Sarah's lack of parenting skills, and her crazy mood swings.

Update: Okay I have no reason to think this is related to the Mudflats post, but Palin just quit her September 3, Iowa speech. Courtesy of Politico:

Sarah Palin canceled her Saturday appearance at a tea party rally in Indianola, Iowa, a person close the former Alaska governor told The Wall Street Journal. 

The person cited “continual lying” from event organizers at Tea Party of America, including a recent mixup over whether former U.S. Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell of Delaware would also speak. 

Okay Sarah Palin quit because of "lying?" Ouch! The irony makes my head hurt!

Please, we all know she quit because the organizers had the audacity to schedule Christine O'Donnell on the same day. Palin lives by the law of the Highlander, "There can be only one!"

Of course on the plus side, there is DEFINITELY an opening for Christine O'Donnell to give a speech, and this time she does no have to worry about being tripped by that nasty old bitch as she walks off stage.

Update 2: Apparently the Teabaggers themselves have NOT been informed that her highness may not be coming. My somewhat educated guess is that SHE does not want to go, but that her "people" are flipping out that she might cancel yet again.

I am interested in how this all plays out, because it sounds to me like Palin might be having one of her manic episodes.

What do you think?  Will she show up, or not?

Want to enrage a Mama Grizzly? Invite an ex-witch to give a speech the same night that she is scheduled to give a speech. That oughta do it! Update: O'Donnell gets the boot!

Courtesy of the Des Moines Register:

Tea party-backed activist Christine O’Donnell will take the stage at Saturday’s tea party rally in Indianola shortly before Sarah Palin, an organizer told The Des Moines Register today. 

O’Donnell, author of the book “Troublemaker: Let’s Do What It Takes to Make America Great Again,” lost a bid for a U.S. Senate seat in Delaware last fall. 

Other speakers will include Sioux City radio host Sam Clovis of KSCJ, Iowa tea party chairman Ryan Rhodes, Tony Katz of Pajamas Media and Los Angeles-based comedian Eric Golub,said organizer Charlie Gruschow, an Iowa tea party activist. 

Last to take the microphone will be Palin, a former governor of Alaska and 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate. There was speculation that Palin would use the event to reveal whether she plans to run for president in 2012 – speculation that Palin’s inner circle quickly shot down. 

Gruschow said he has no clue what Palin will talk about. 

“I think it’ll be about freedom,” he said.

Wow!  A failed VP candidate AND a failed Senate candidate!

If they would have scraped a little harder on the bottom of that barrel they might have been able to get failed "Dancing with the Stars" contestant Bristol Palin on the roster as well. Then it would have been a real "You-suck-a-palooza."

You know last night I had the hardest time sleeping because I kept hearing this metallic clanging sound coming from outside of my window.  I could not for the life of me figure out what it was until I read this article.

Then it all made perfect sense.

"I was just standing there minding my own business. And then she started winging cans at me. What did I do? What did I do?"

They say on a clear summer night, you can still hear the scream of the politically irrelevant "Wasilla Banshee" careening across the lake before echoing off of the surrounding mountains and into the distance.

"Taawwdd!!!"

"TAAWWDD!!!"

"TAAWWDD!!"

Update courtesy of The Wall Street Journal: 

Former U.S. Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell will not speak at a tea party event featuring former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin in Indianola, Iowa, this weekend, an organizer told Washington Wire. 

“I made a mistake,” said Ken Crow, president of Tea Party of America. “I assumed there was an open slot and there wasn’t.” 

Monday night, Mr. Crow told Washington Wire that Ms. O’Donnell would appear. 

Tea Party of America’s cofounder, Charlie Gruschow, said the group withdrew Ms. O’Donnell’s after receiving numerous “emails from a lot of tea party folks that were very disappointed that she would be speaking.” 

“We decided not to have her speak,” Mr. Gruschow said. “We felt it was in the best interest of the movement.” 

Ms. O’Donnell’s spokesman did not immediately return a request for comment.

They "assumed there was an open slot?"  On the same ticket with Sarah "I'll bite your face off" Palin?

Seriously?

Man I have to say even I am amazed by how fast Palin destroyed her competition for the Teabager's attention!  That must have been some serious canned food flinging she did to get Todd on the phone and rallying the forces on her behalf so quickly. (Hey Wasilla, keep an eye out of Todd.  I heard he emerged from one of these "conversations" with a black eye last year.)

I would really like to see those "numerous" e-mails. Ten to one they are mostly misspelled missives, just chock full of racial slurs and vicious threats, all typed out in capital letters and punctuated with a plethora of exclamation points.

Sarah Palin throws out another crumb for her supporters.

Who has two thumbs and is a big political prick tease? This girl!

Courtesy of Real Clear Politics:

In the latest indication that her sights are still set on a presidential run, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has accepted an invitation to keynote a Tea Party rally in Waukee, Iowa, on Sept. 3, RealClearPolitics has learned.

The Labor Day weekend visit to the nation's first voting state comes after Palin indicated during an appearance on Fox News earlier this month that she would make her decision about whether to launch a campaign in August or September.

All signs now point to September as the month when Palin would throw her hat into the ring, as logistical concerns ranging from fundraising to getting her name on the ballot in various states would likely preclude further delay.

Many prominent political analysts and Republican operatives have expressed skepticism that Palin is seriously considering a presidential bid, since she has not taken many of the steps that candidates traditionally take before jumping into the race, such as signing early-state consultants, contacting key powerbrokers and boosting their travel schedules.

But Palin has a long history of shunning the Republican Party machinery and taking an unconventional approach to campaigns -- a mind-set that appears to have been in play throughout the past several months.

Jesus this is just getting more and more pathetic.

Has anybody else noticed that Palin does just the bare minimum to keep stringing her simple minded supporters along?

Everybody writes her off as a candidate, so she goes on a family vacation disguised as the start of a political campaign.

It looks like nobody gives two shits about her movie, so suddenly she decides to drag Todd out of the mothballs and show up in Iowa for the premiere.

People start pointing out that they have not seen her for awhile, so she does a perfunctory eight minute interview with Greta Van Susteren on a topic that she can barely understand.

So now pundits are saying that she has done NOTHING to give any indication that she is a serious candidate, and all of a sudden we hear that she is giving a keynote speech in Iowa.

And do you know what?  The Palin-bots and political reporters will rise to the bait every single time!

Sad, but true.