Submissive or Topping from the Bottom?

I have identified myself as submissive sexually more than a few times on this site and others, like Roissy's.  Lately I wonder if submissive is really a thing.  I mean don't men act dominating to women to turn them on, thereby making the women the driver in a round about way? So are women topping men?

I've told my lover I like it rough and he has willingly and enjoyingly (not a word) obliged me.  I feel submissive during, but I'm not really when I've told him what turns me on right?  How would I feel if a man was dominating and insisted it was his way or no way, that he didn't care if I didn't feel like it (that really never happens) he was doing it and his way.  It turns me on in theory (big time), but would I stop feeling part of the equation?  More object than partner?  Again a turn on in theory, but practice.... hasn't happened.

Thoughts out there in interwebz land??