As much as I'd like to discredit Roissy's ideas I can't. I started reading him in 2008 and although initially insulted and repulsed I soon realized there was truth in what he wrote. My world began to be defined in ways I hadn't thought of before - Alpha, Beta, Hypergamous, Evo-psych etc. I have always been a logical person, a trait which I believe few women possess (sorry but it's true), my logic allowed myself to self-reflect on my own behaviors, my thinking being how can I object without testing the theories on myself. Once I examined myself (no, not a breast exam), I turned my observations to female friends and then to the on-line dating world where I exist a couple months of every year. His theories line up with my observations. He tends to be very black and white and I believe he's more shades of grey in his own life but nonetheless a lot of what he writes about is true. I'm not a virgin nor am I 20 something, but I was both those things at one point and I can easily remember who I was attracted to and who I ended up being in an ltr with at 21. Alpha male the whole way. Arrogant, monied, and a leader of men. I thought I was attracted to his sensitive side. NOT. I had no awareness of the hypergamous nature of women and had I known I would likely not have acted any differently. He turned me on. He wanted me and he got me. I was a status girl in the looks department, bangin' hot body and was a natural submissive. I would have snapped me up too. The relationship which lasted years was terrible. He was a drinker and told me the second week of our dating life never to tell him to stop, he said his last girlfriend had told him to stop and he dumped her. It was my first instruction and I was very good at keeping it, well for the first seven years anyway...
The sad truth is, I can admit it, is I'm still attracted to alpha men. I have dated a lot of men in the last two years and although I've broken up with the large majority, the one I think about the most was an alpha asshole. Thankfully learning about men and myself at Roissy helped me keep him out of my life when he tried to get back with me several months after he dumped me. I'm not a pump and dump...well at least not twice.
The beta men I've dated have all wanted to pursue marriage, including a Doctor. I have considered this option, but honestly don't feel its fair to them for me to feel like I've settled. That said I know I NEED to settle. I'm completely aware of this. I'm hot enough for my age, but not hot at all for youth. I have attractive qualities that I know are beneficial to long term survival but I know that those qualities are NOT what alpha men are first and foremost concentrating on. I have worked hard at keeping my figure, I ensure I have good clear skin and I have an energy about me that many women a decade younger can't match. I know these things place me at high value for men. Now. But...this too has a shelf life. Aging terrifies me and reading Roissy reinforces it.
As much information as I've gleaned from Roissy I'm no further ahead than when I started. Sure I'm much more aware of the why and what's of attraction and relationship, but I'm no further along in securing what I want. I'm the perfect woman for Roissy's site because I can confirm what he says is true. I'm more liked because I'm honest about it, but that's small satisfaction for me.
The eternal optimist in me still hopes that love waits, that its just around the corner...
