Grey Days and Threesomes

My life is not going as planned. Not that I had a hard and fast plan, but I had anticipated something different than what I've been experiencing.

In the midst of the chaos, maybe just a slight exaggeration I did begin a new relationship.  One I'd categorize as more mature than maybe I'm prone to.  I can't say I was sold out on the guy, but I did think he had some traits which could translate to long term partner.  He 'seemed' to be very in to me.  He could identify strengths I've always believed I had and could articulate them clearly.  He also said I look like Scarlett Johansson (shut up dear readers, let me have my delusion).  It seemed like a good thing. 

Sex happened, but not at the very beginning, it had a natural progression I felt.  He was, if not a skilled lover, a skilled dirty talker which I gotta admit I kinda like.  Early on he talked about seeing me with another women.  This is a common fantasy and because I knew it turned him on, I didn't change the subject, I just let him go with it.  We did not discuss this in any way as a potential reality.  Or at least I didn't think so.  To me it seemed like his other dirty talk for example saying he'd make me give him a blow job in a crowded restaurant, I mean we BOTH knew that wasn't going to happen.  Right?

We had a once a week dating life which with my busy schedule fit me fine.  He took me fine dining, movies, comedy clubs and even cooked for me once or twice.  He was intelligent and was closely connected with film and TV.  He remarked several times I'd make great television.  I think it's true, but I'm not flattered by it. In fact it disturbs me.  Must watch - rubber neck TV.

Then one day an email.  "I'm very excited by the news I have.  I'll call you tonight.", he writes. 

So he calls me.  And drops the bomb.  He has found a woman on-line who is willing to do a threesome. 

I can't even tell you how that news hit me.  I remember being speechless.  I remember feeling tears in the back of my throat.  It took me a few minutes to articulate the feelings I was experiencing.  I told him the call came as a shock and that it was the last kind of news I was anticipating.  He tried to blow it off as no big deal and was very dismissive when I tried to go deeper into his motivation.  I knew then we'd break up.  I just didn't know how it would happen.

We got together once more for a movie and when we went to his place for a glass of wine I knew I wanted to leave and quickly.  I brought up the subject of 'the call' and let him know that if that was what he was seeking I'd bow out and not hold any grudges.  He claimed he wasn't interested in having another woman, but I didn't buy it.  Whether he was truthful or not, I didn't find it believable. 

I took a chicken way out of a break up and sent him an email, a lovely one if I do say so myself.  I apologized for the method and said I was rather embarrassed I wasn't able to do it another way.  I didn't want the awkwardness.  I wasn't able to articulate clearly enough my dissatisfaction with the relationship and didn't want to have to stumble through it in person or on the phone. 

He wrote back.

"Do the world a favour, get a v-twin dildo, stay at home & fuck yourself and stay out of men's lives."

I had to look up what a v-twin dildo was.  It seems to me he has some lesbian fantasies going on.  

 I have to say he made it easy for me not to feel guilty.