It's a very strange experience starting a company. I'm trying to be very conscious of the journey and not rush through it and wonder later how I made it happen. I want to be deliberate in my actions and learn from my mistakes as I go along, meaning I want to be conscious of mistakes and not wonder later how the hell everything went so wrong.
I've read a fair number of business books and pay attention to people who themselves have started successful and great companies. I want to be able to document what I did that made my company grow like I envision it will. This sounds easier than it is. I feel panicky many days, will I have enough money to sustain my start-up I worry. I have the vision and the skill set to do it, but will I have the customers? How long will it take for me to get them to see my ideas will save them time and money?
Two nights ago I woke up with a toothache, the realization I don't have dental insurance woke me fully. Will I lose a tooth because I can't afford to fix it while I pour life savings into supporting my daily living? This is a scary feeling. I am a single woman, alone. I own my own house, but its not paid for, could I lose it? If I got sick like my sister did I have no one to support me. I don't have disability insurance, just life. I'm worth more dead in fact.
The good news is I remain convinced my company is unique and that the services I provide aren't available. I believe I will be able to launch offices across Canada within the next five years and hope to hire a support person before the end of 2012. I hope I can do this without having to look for investors, because quite frankly I'm uncomfortable asking anyone I know for money. In spite of the truth of this business it still feels like I'd be asking for a handout. Makes my stomach turn - literally. It's pride I suppose.
Right now my plan is to build my company like it's franchisable. Operations and process manuals are in the works. I even have a dress code for myself and my future employees, something which further brands the image my company needs as it moves forward. I'm a visual person therefore my website, my clothing, and my correspondence all must convey the brand I'm working to create. This is deliberate. To go where I want to go I must look like I've arrived already.
I need five annual contracts to make it sustainable. I need ten to expand. I have one, with another potential in the background. I need to have four more locked in before December before I actively seek employment in someone else's company. If my gut is right, I'll still be working for myself this time next year. This truly is the scariest, yet exciting adventure I've ever taken!
