Afterbirth: Examining the other end of Sarah Palin's inexplicable pregnancy.

So we all know that Sarah Palin simply did NOT look pregnant even weeks before supposedly giving birth on April 18, 2008, as indicated by this picture taken on March 26, 2008.

And we also know that she somehow managed to balloon up to a much more acceptable size for a woman claiming to be almost eight months pregnant only two weeks later, as indicated by this picture from April 13, 2008.

And of course we have NO earthly idea how such a dramatic weight gain can be explained.

Okay well maybe we do.

However what I have never really explored is the dramatic weight LOSS that Sarah Palin seems to have experienced AFTER the "birth" of Trig. Yes, believe it or not, Sarah Palin is SUCH an amazing woman that not only did her pregnancy not show until right around the time that Trig was ready for solid foods, but she also managed to get right back down to her canned food throwing weight even faster!

At least that is what I had been told.  Finding pictures to prove it has been a little more challenging.

I did have this one from May 3rd, of Sarah and our good friend Mercede. But people kept saying that even though her legs look skinny, and she is bending over in a way that women who just gave birth fifteen days earlier simply should NOT be able to bend over, that you could not really tell anything definitive because the loose fitting sweatshirt kept you from seeing her postpartum. Oookay.

So I am assuming that if I had a picture from earlier that same day in which you COULD see her stomach that it might prove to the naysayers that she lost her "pregnancy" weight much too fast to be explained by 21st century science, right?

Will this do? This is from earlier the same day at the VFW Post in Mountain View.

Does that look two weeks postpartum to you?

What?  Too hard to see?  Here let me help.

Is that better?

You know she looks pretty darn slim to me, how about all of you?

But that is just one picture, hardly concrete evidence right?

So here is Palin only twelve days later, on May 15, 2008.

Right about here is where all of the Palin-bots come rushing over to say things like "Aw c'mon Gryphen!  Aren't you reaching a little? Why I had a girlfriend/wife/ co-worker/pet basset hound who lost all of THEIR baby weight in just a matter of days!  Perhaps Sarah Palin is just somebody who, due to her tight abs and dedication to running that nobody ever sees her do, is able to snap right back into shape. I am really a fan but THIS time I think you are barking up the wrong tree. Now if you will excuse me I have to call SarahPAC and get my check."

Well I am not an expert on pregnancy, but I do know that people don't usually "snap back into shape" faster with their fifth pregnancy than they did with their fourth pregnancy. (So you know what's coming right?)

The above is a picture of Sarah Palin from April 15, 2001, almost exactly one month after giving birth to future Palin family bodyguard, Piper Palin. Gee I guess her abdomen took a little bit longer to "snap back" in those days.

So let me see if I have this straight.

Sarah Palin suddenly announces to the world that she is pregnant on March 5, 2008 to the surprise of every single one of her co-workers, the journalists who constantly follow her around, her security staff, her entire family, and (if my sources are accurate) Todd Palin himself.

Then she starts wearing heavy jackets and long scarves making it hard to tell, if I may borrow a quote from Alaska Airlines spokeswoman Caroline Boren, "the stage of her pregnancy by observation."

However she seems to remain relatively thin until April 13th, when she suddenly balloons up just five days before "giving birth," which occurs only after she has been leaking amniotic fluid for almost eighteen hours and flown on a commercial airline from Texas all the way to Alaska.

Afterwards she simply leaves the hospital and resumes wearing her pre-pregnancy wardrobe as if nothing ever happened.

As if NOTHING ever happened.

So essentially Sarah Palin's ENTIRE pregnancy is encapsulated in this one GIF.

If GIF does not work, try clicking on it.

Have you EVER seen a pregnancy that even remotely compares to the Sarah Palin pregnancy?

And if you haven't (And believe me I KNOW you haven't) then what is the ONLY possible explanation?