* Note: Before reading this Post, please go here (Askmen.com) to read Nando's excellent article on the Education Scam:
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(Fonzie enters the stage to a chorus of whoops.)
Fonzie:
Aaaaaay! Kids! It's Me! The Fonz!
You know kiddies, there are a lot of things in Milwaukee, and in this world in fact, that are Cool: like jukeboxes, and motorcycles, and chicks, and havin a malt and a burger at Arnolds.
But I wanna tell ya about one thing that is not cool kids. Not cool at all.
STUDENT LOANS!
That's right dudes and dudettes. Student Loans are a pure TRAP! They are the gateway to debt slavery!
Take it from the Fonz: I never went to College, and now I own my own auto and motorcycle repair shop, and I have three apartment houses around town, and lfe is......
Cooooool! Very, Very Cool!
AYYYYYYYY!
(ENTER PENNYWISE)
Oh Bullshit Fonzie!
(Teasingly) Or should I say........ "Arthur."
And I thought I was a clown.
Do you think all the kiddies want to end up as a dumbass ignoramus like you?
Yeah sure! You're cool. Cool! Like a low temperature tabula rasa. (Peals of Canned Laughter)
(Pennywise turns to the live audience) Kids, if you don't want to be an empty headed pop culture grease monkey like the Fonz someday, you damn well better borrow the money and go to College.
(A sly tone in his voice) Besides.....me and my buddies, the bankers, are all counting on it.
Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
WOE! WOE! WHOA!
No one. But NO ONE, except for Mrs Cunningham, calls me Arthur. Get it!
And NO ONE, not even Mrs. C would ever get away with calling The Fonz a tabula......what's it....?
(Fonzie saunters, somewhat gracefully and like a boxer, towards Pennywise with half clenched fists.)
(Pennywise merely turns to the audience with a meaningful look, and says loudly:
Tabula......THAT'S IT!
(More peals of canned laughter follow this remark)
(ENTER FONZIE'S BEST BUDDY,
AND MILWAUKEE'S GOLDEN GLOVES CHAMP,
AND BALLROOM DANCER,
THE BIG RAGU: CARMINE RAGUSA)
Hey Fonz! I couldn't help overhearing.
Carmine, wearing ballet shoes, and skin tight bluejeans, cuffed at the ankles, over his bulging, muscular legs, and an equally tight gray sweatshirt, strolls to the middle of the stage, and then starts to pirouteete; first one pirouette, than another, and another. Pennywise smirks, and starts clapping his hands, while the Fonz smiles approvingly. However, after Carmine's sixth or seventh pirouette, the Fonz starts to frown, and says:
Hey! Hey! Carmine! Come on! That's enough! That's enough!
Carmine, after the tenth pirouette or so, finally stops, and says, breathlessly:
Oh.... Sorry Fonz. I was just warming up for our fight with the clown here.
Meanwhile, Pennywise is laughing and slapping his sides, and the Fonz says:
Well....if you want to warm up, go punch a heavy bag or something. This is a fight, and not a Dancing With The Stars contest. (More canned laughter)
To be continued. It is slow going, and I got a few things to do.
