Flowers!

Today is memorial day, and I just finished planting flowers outside. It's taken me this long to plant the damn things for two reasons:

1.) All I ever do it edit. I eat, sleep, and breathe editing. I literally feel my fingers moving over the keyboard in my sleep, and I am considering having "cliche--please revise" tattooed onto my azz. No really. I am. I think it will look good with the cottage cheese/ulta white look I have going for me now.

And...

2.) It's too damn cold. No seriously, it was barely 61 degrees here in Eastern Washington today. Um....hello, Mother Nature, whoever you're ticked off at, I apologize on their behalf. We need some sunshine. And I need to be able to wear a short sleeved shirt. And I need my kids to play outside REALLY BAD. So send some sun, cuz I am OVER THIS SH**.

So anyway, planting the flowers in my beds and in the outdoor planter reminded me of how very much I love flowers. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, I was a florist. Don't believe me? Well, poop on you, because I was, and I was damn good at it, too. My favorite thing to do was wedding work, and whenever spring and summer roll around I am reminded of how much I miss it. Maybe it's because everyone around me is getting married, going to a wedding, in a wedding, or whatever....but I miss it.

So today's post is devoted to wedding bouquets. Please never make the mistake of spelling "bouquet" like this BOKAY. Because the flower snob in me will punch you. Oh, and please dont tell me how beautiful baby's breath is. Because yes, it's pretty, but so help me, there are so many other fillers out there that you are missing out on, its alarming. Now, just sit back and enjoy my parade of bouquets. Some are more traditional, some are funkier, some are downright weird...but whatever the style, I personally believe that the flowers are the second most important part of a wedding. (Right behind the dress)That's probably because I was a florist, though...but still...

The flowers one chooses for their wedding will be an organic expression of their personality. If they are bubbly and girly, the flowers should show that. If they are dark and gothic, then show it. If you are traditional and streamlined....rock it. If you are funky and live to be different...work it. But never, ever assume that flowers are an area that you can scimp out on when it comes to wedding expenses. There is nothing that turns my stomach more than going to a wedding with NO flowers, or worse yet....silk flowers!

Please, please don't ever make that mistake. Some will say they are just the same, or even better, but they aren't! Run far, far away from them! They don't know what they are talking about, and they are ignoring how incredibly tacky silk wedding flowers are. They rank up there will mullets and velour jogging suits with words on the azz. Really.

Ok, so without further delay, here is my fun fun fun Memorial Day planting-session-inspired parade of wedding bouquets:

Some people prefer the cascading bouquets. These are sort of out of date now, as they scream of 1987, but I like them when they have touches of bright flowers included.

Some brides enjoy the ever-pure white on white on white look. This is not my style, but I live for reasons to use Calla lilies, so I will let this one slide.

This is sort of the trend nowadays. The tight, compact, no-space-between bouquets that Martha Stewart inspired. Not my face, but very sleek and sophisticated looking.

I had to add this one, because my daughter would flip for an all pink bouquet. This one is for the ever-girly bride. You know, the one with the princess dress and the tendrils, etc.

This bouquet is pretty, but looks like Barbie puked all over it. Too much pink for my liking, though I appreciate the hot pink thrown in, so its not too little girlish like the one above.

I once did a wedding in late July with all blue hydrangeas. It was a nightmare. I had to keep the flowers in a cooler until the moment she walked down the aisle, then when the 20 minute ceremony was over (outdoors, of course) the flowers had dropped. If a florist doesn't warn you about the short lifespan of a hydrangea...he/she is a moron, and you shouldn't hire them.

Instead of using silk flowers (Hisss.....boooo!) when the bride or groom is allergic, why not use feathers?? Very fun and glamorous!

This is the perfect bouquet for the holiday season, and a perfect example of how good Baby's Breath can look, if it isn't paired with carnations and pinned to your grandmother's sweater.

Why don't more brides get married in the fall?? I mean, look at these colors!! The perfect wedding fo rme would be in October with lots of yellows, oranges, and golds...and look at the use of curly willow? Stunning and dramatic.

I am a sucker for some green and blue together. Now, regardless of what you may have heard...there are no blue roses. If you've seen blue roses, they've either been spray painted blue or they are silk. But roses do not grow pure blue. Ever. No really, ever. So if you want blue and green...go for hydrangea and some green roses. Green roses are STUNNING. Every. Single. Time.

I am a sucker for some peacock feathers. Pair them with some exposed stems, and green tropicals, and I am a happy florist.

This bouquet rocks my ever living soul. I love it. And how many brides have the guts to be that bold?? An entire bouquet of yellow poms?? Props to that bride. Two snaps. She ruled.

AHHHHH! I love this bouquet. It reminds me of my oldest neice, Ryann. She is a little bit Emo, a little bit Rockabilly, and this bouquet would make a rockabilly wedding sing!



I like this bouquet for two reasons: First, I loves me some purple. It is the forgotten wedding flower color. Also, because I look for reasons to use curly willow. What a statement!



This is the bouquet that the vintage lover might choose. I personally wish I'd thought of it before I married my nerd. It is a bouquet made up entirely of vintage pins and junk jewelry. I mean....my jaw dropped when I saw it. I love love love love love this bouquet.

Now, this is a good idea if you have a little girl who likes to play "bride". Why not make her a fun bouquet with felt and buttons? So cute and so fun and so easy.

OH SNAP! Didn't I say I have a weakness for some peacock feathers? Well here you go....work it. Own it.

Okay, so now that I've inspired you....go plan your wedding. Or your daughters wedding. Or....well, write a book about weddings, like I am. Whatever floats your boat. :)

Brooke Moss.