The royal wedding was this morning.
I missed most of it, because I was sleeping. Yes, that makes me a lazy cow. I couldn't help myself. I've been an insomniac since I was a teenager. When sleep arrives....you take it!!
But anyway...I woke up this morning to scan all of the pictures on E! online, and I have to say: loved her dress, Willam and Harry are a couple of British hotties, Prince Charles looks inbred (sorry...someone had to say it), and HOLY WOW. Hats were
in for this royal wedding.
Now, it is important that I add that when Princess Diana was married to Charles, my aunt made me a recreation of her dress for my barbie. *Snort* So I was expecting big things from Miz Kate. She didn't let me down. She looked fabuloso! Now, here's hoping her husband can keep it in his pants and treat her right. Not that I'm bitter or anything....
(Was married once before my dream nerd.......have firm expectations for marriage. Sorry.)
So the running theme for this big shin-dig was: HATS.
Oh yes, hats. Every woman at this big to-do was wearing one, and they got bigger, tackier, fancier, more excessive, and downright
gaudier with every woman who entered that abbey. No really, I've seen some hats in my day. Remember, I was in high school when 90210 and Blossom were on....um, hello! Hats. lots of them. Not in a good way, either. But these hats? Oy. Oy to the next episode, oy.
Posh Spice (whose husband gives me the shivers--in a good way) wore hers on her forehead, with what undoubtedly had to be double stick tape. Another girl wore a piece of modern art atop her head. Some wore big, floppy numbers that made me think of my Aunt Laurie's wedding in the 70's, and some wore hats that looked like they could impale someone if run into from the wrong direction.
Now...............call me crazy...
CRAZY!
Shut up.
But...doesn't a wedding seem like the wrong time and place to take major fashion risks? I mean, isn't the focus supposed to be on the bride and groom and everyone else is supposed to just blend into the background and enjoy the free booze and appetizers? That's the way I was raised, anyway. Well, actually, where I come from...wearing clean jeans and a buttoned up flannel is considered appropriate wedding attire. So maybe my opinion isn't worth beans. But still....if I were getting married...to WILLS no less.
I mean, YUM. So British and royal and tall and nummers...
I would want everyone to downplay the crazy hat thing, so that all of the guests, and the press, could focus on me...marrying a royal...and becoming a
Princess. Yeah...that's right, it's all about me. Got it? No, you in the third row, sit down. It's MY day. You're having a heart attack? Well, ride it out, I'm about to kiss my husband. THE PRINCE. Yeah. Yo, queenie...button it up. Nobody wants to hear your speeches today. Yeah, that's right. I'm wearing the prettiest wedding dress mankind has ever known, while I marry THE PRINCE. Uh huh....sit down.
Well, that's how I would do it. Just saying...
So as far as these crazy hats go (and if you don't believe me...google it. There were some SERIOUS hats there!) I have to give them a big, fat thumbs down. I am all for a great hat. I love hats. Hats are an excellent fashion accessory. However, wearing one on your forehead instead of the top of your head? Or wearing one that looks like it will pick up sports channels from Brazil? Or wearing one that will piss off anyone within 4 rows behind you off?
No way. Be smart. Leave those fashion mishaps at home.
Brooke Moss.
