Today my family had a memorial service for my Aunt Becky.
It was absolutely beautiful. The flowers were gorgeous, and the pictures they had of her were some of the best, though it was hard to take a bad picture of Becky. There was a performance of "Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain" that was absolutely lovely, and a slide show to end all slide shows. It was absolutely beautiful.
I spoke. I don't know how well I did, as my hands were shaking so bad, I had to clench them below the podium, and I actually stumbled on my words at one point because I was choking up so much. I didn't expect to be as emotional as I was. I'd cried a lot the first few days after Becky died, but since two weeks has passed, I sort of expected to feel more nostalgic, rather than emotional.
No go.
I cried. A lot. I couldn't help it. The image of my Uncle Billy so torn up, and my cousins faces so filled with sorrow. It was a bit more than my hard candy shell was able to resist. But I think that everybody heard what I had to say, for the most part. I wish more than anything that I knew how to express how deeply I love my uncle and cousins. It's hard to do, without sounding creepy.
But I have to say...
I have been so, incredibly blessed in my life. I have this amazing legacy of strong women in my family. It's mind boggling, the examples I have have in this lifetime. My Grandmother raised seven children, then lived for twenty-plus years after my grandfather died. I can't imagine life without my Monte, let alone a few decades! My mother was in an unpleasant marriage for thritry years, and left it without so much as a driver's lisence. My Aunt Carol was the strongest, most independent woman I've ever known, and my Aunt Becky was the most life changing examples of personal stamina and strength that I've ever known. I haven't even touched on the numerous other Aunts and Cousins I have.
I come from such a long line of amazing women. I am so proud.
Today was hard. Inexplicably hard. But I was honored to speak, however briefly, about my Aunt Becky. I am honestly a better person for having been her niece. I will miss her every single day. I don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't think about my Grandma, or Monte's Grandma (Gram), or my Aunt Carol. And now my Aunt Becky. Man, I miss her. I really do.
What an incredible legacy I get to be a part of! I love you, Becky. Thanks for loving me.
P.S. Please, please, please, please, PLEASE become a registered organ donor. And if you do, PLEASE make sure that your loved ones know about your wishes, and that they are willing to carry them out. Please open yourself up to the amazing gift of life organ donation is.
