Pussy is (W)hole
Work and boredom. Boredom. Nothing to occupy the mind. All to occupy the hands and fingers. Talk. Talk must be had. What to talk about? What to say? What in common? Think. Think. Simplify. Break it down to the elements. After all, we are all the same, are we not? All men created equal. All Human Beings.
Somehow the conversation came around to working with the Spanish guys, and speaking in Spanish. I remarked that I had learned a small amount of Spanish by virtue of having worked with some Latino guys and their having taught me a little.
Then of course there were the curse words. Each of us knew a few Spanish curse words. And what white guy doesn't, whether they are said or used correctly or not?
Then Yusuf said something that sounded like: “Umchk.”
There was a pause.
“T’a you know wat dat is?” he asked.
“What is that? “ I said. “Say it again.”
“Umchk” he repeated.
“Um-Chuck. Is that Spanish?” I asked
“No. Turkish” he said
“I don’t know” I said. I never heard it before. Troy, the other painter working with us that day, didn’t know either, and we were a little miffed.
“What does it mean?” I asked.
“It means: Pussy is hole.”
That didn’t make much sense to me. “Pussy is hole?” I asked.
“Yes,” Yusuf said. “Pussy is hole.”
“I don’t get it,” I said.
“T’a what you don’t get?” he asked flatly, and with seeming disdain.
“Pussy is hole?” I said again quizzically. I thought that maybe some of the meaning of the word “Umchk” must have been lost in the translation to English. “Do you mean that a Pussy is a Hole like a hole in the ground or a hole in Swiss Cheese?”
Yusuf merely repeated: “Pussy is hole.”
There was a longer pause in the conversation, and I thought: Well, maybe it is a Turkish curse stating what is crudely obvious: A Pussy is a hole. I guess I can accept that. But still, stretching to make sense, I had another idea: Maybe he meant that a pussy that is Whole (different spelling for hole, different meaning) is a virginal vagina and/or "pussy", and one with the hymen unbroken. That might make sense too.
“How do you spell Hole?” I asked. But it was too much to ask. It merely seemed to cloud the issue, or at least Yusuf didn't want to explain further.
I saw no signifigance to this term. It must be, I thought , a clear example of a word or phrase that is culturally or contextually specific. I tried to come up with equivalent terms in the English language, but failed. Call someone a curse word in their own foreign culture and you might seriously offend them, and not even know it. Literally playing with fire if it starts a fight or, on a larger scale, a War.
For some reason I was reminded of the way a Muslim person will remove their shoe and beat a photograph or an image of a person as a sign of ultimate disrespect—like the way it was portrayed on television when Saddam Hussein was overthrown. And I also vaguely wondred if “Umchk” had anything to do with female circumcision. Yusuf, after all, was a Muslim. And, for some reason, he later told me not to use that word the next time I saw my other Turkish "Buddy" at the gas station. According to Yusuf, it was OK to say: "E-AK-SHAMAL," which means Good Evening in the Turkish language, but never "UMCHK."
But, in any event, like in Pee Wee Hermans’s playhouse, the new word of the day was: “Umchk.” And of course, it had nothing to do with putting paint on a house.
