The Dildo Party!
Artie Fartie had a party
And all his friends were there
Tutti Fruity, blew a beauty
And all went out for air.
The Dildo Party was ostensibly a monumential , if not an archetypal event in the history of The Painting Company; for, during the six or so months that I had worked for that particular painting company, reference was sometimes, and almost reverentiallyand laughingly made by some of the workers about a party that the Irish Foreman had thrown, at his house, and during the summer of 2004.
According to the hearsay, the Host's wife was away on vacation. So everyone from the Painting Company was invited. The simple details of the party that were boasted about were as follows:
Everybody in attendance became very drunk. Someone swam naked in the above ground pool. The Turkish Foreman, Yusuf, drank too much tequila, and ended up passing out on the Irish Foreman's leather sofa.
As a means of continuing the fun, Dildo's and lipstick were then taken from the master bedroom of the Irish Foreman's house. One of the Dildo's was a strap-on model. Then the lipstick was applied to the lips of the sleeping Yusef.
Shortly thereafter, Yusuf was "smacked on the face" with the assorted Dildos.
Sometime after these proceedings--maybe the next day--a cleaning solvent was used to try to remove the stubborn lipstick stains from the sofa, with little success, and a resulting stain.
None of this had anything to do with putting paint on a house, of course.
