When I titled this blog, I got the giggles. This just goes to show you how adolescent I am. Totally 12. I am always up for a good joke. Most of them are at my own expense, but occasionally I share the wealth. But that probably explains why my aunt unfriended me on Facebook for a pooh bear joke. Go figure.
But anyway...
I have a bush.
*Snicker* Grow up. Don't be crass.
I have a bush outside my bedroom window on the corner of my house that is bigger and more unruly than ever, and I realized today that with this hellacious snow we've been having...this bush is getting bigger and unrulier and more out of control...even as I type.
This thing is a monster.
It is one of those bushes that was meant to only be grown to about 4 feet tall, then pruned short and skinny. Well........it's not. It's about 14 feet tall and about 7 feet wide and is an absolute monstrosity.
Why haven't we trimmed the bush yet?
*Giggle* Seriously, grow up.
Because my husband has taken a liking to this bush. He refuses to cut it down and do our house (and this poor bush that is just begging to be put out of its misery) a favor. He lets it grow and grow and grow and now here we are: A Shizz load of snow has fallen, and its completely weighed down in the top center. Now it looks like a pineapple. Like a 14 foot tall, green pineapple.
I am looking at it now, and I am pretty sure it is going to take out the side of my house when it falls, and at the rate it's going right now, it will fall long before the end of winter. Especially if we keep getting snow like we have this past week. It's gol darned Siberia around here!! I keep thinking the dog is a Yeddi in the back yard, because she comes charging at me all covered in white! That bush will not make it.
I am calling it right now: That bush will be down before spring.
*Giggle* Okay, really. Chill out.
When the wind blows, the bush wavers back and forth like a titanic bobbing in icy waters, and causes this awful groaning sound. It sounds like imminent death. It completely creeps me out. And my husband, who could sleep through a train wreck, never hears it creaking next to my HEAD at night. He lies there snoring, while I wait for the giant death pineapple to bust through the side of the house and decapitate me! What's a girl to do?
Brooke Moss.
