I have had a lot happen in the last month, exactly a month today. I can't because of confidentiality and risk, talk about what's happened but its been a very difficult month. My planned vacation in the midst of mess was at first the worst possible thing to happen. Confident my life was normal I hadn't even bought cancellation insurance, I had to go. A foursome of women including my mother headed off to Manhattan to shop and site see. As I've mentioned in earlier posts I ended up losing my passport (in Delta's seat pocket) and had to stay longer. This turned out to be a blessing in spite of the $3000 hit to my savings account.
While away I was able to separate myself from the chaos my life had become back home. I will point out this chaos has nothing to do with my personal life, I'm supremely happy in how that part of my life is going, thanks be to the Gods who control personal relationships.
While away and healthily disconnected I've realized on a deeper level that I can't control all things. I'm not a control freak per se but I do like to believe I have a bigger influence than I might really have. It forced me to look at how I might have contributed to what was taking place. A close examination of my thinking, my heart and most especially my motives was critical to the blessing which occurred while away. I realized I walk a pretty straight and narrow path and have nothing to fear in regards to motive. The behavior of others had brought some tornado action my way. Had I brought this on? Or was this a weird confluence of events?
I've been so thankful to discover that my choice to always engage professionally and to aim for the highest of standard and never intentionally cut corners gave me a peace of mind I am treasuring. If I hadn't been forced to go away, and if I hadn't lost my passport I'm almost positive I wouldn't have had the time to devote to this close examination.
My advice to others who are behaving in untoward ways is to make it right immediately. Sooner or later someone will 'screw up' and you too shall face a tribunal. Wouldn't you rather do it with a clear conscience? I know I am.
