I decided to go to dinner with Jane Porter next week.
I am trying to be cool about it, but there is an inner fan girl wanting to "squeeeeee". I try to stifle her with duct tape and cheese. Sometimes it works, other times not so much. Part of me wants to thrust every copy of her books that I can get my hands on and say, "
Sign these to your BFF, Sarah, and then tell me how you can possibly be so skinny and gorgeous with three sons?" But I don't think she'll invite me along next time if I do that. So I will refrain.
I will also try not to burp or spill my food or tip over my glass or talk with sh*t in my teeth while at dinner with Jane Porter. This will be difficult for me, as I am pretty excitable, especially when discussing my favorite topic, which is, of course, writing. I get all worked up and excited and silly and hyper and argh.....
I am going to make an azz of myself. I can see it coming.
"You know that one writer Jane invited? Yeah, Brooke Moss. Don't invite her again. I am pretty sure she has terrett's syndrome. And I heard her hair was really great, but it totally isn't. Good grief, get your roots done. You're dealing with the big dogs now!"
Shut up. I can't afford to get my hair done for another three weeks. Pity me. Don't make fun.
I am thinking of questions I want to ask Jane. Like....which of your characters is most like you? Which Hero character would you most want to get your freak on with? And then I try to think about what I might say when and if she asks about
my work. Oh cripes...I can see it now...
"I was writing this awesome story about this couple who had loved each other for years but they were torn apart by a violent act and now one of them is getting married and the other is heartbroken and then I pitched it to an agent and she told me some things to change about it so I came home and started writing a new story that an agent showed some interest in and it is going to be great and it takes places in this place that nobody would ever want to live but it turns out to be great and they..."And then, at some point, my writing partner will touch my shoulder and tell me to shut up and eat my food. Which I will do, because I am obedient like that. Notice how there were no comma's above? That's because everything I said will come out as one long, run on sentence, and I will sound completely robotic yet manic....
My Brooke Moss Facebook page is growing. I've now had two friend requests from published authors that I didn't even write to first, and haven't read their stuff yet. I get so excited when that happens! Not only do I have new authors to check out now (always a good thing) but I also have people who are going to become familiar with me, or my "brand". As my writing partner says, I am building a platform. Blurbs, here I come! Ha. Anyway, it is exciting to be building a fan base for my blog and my stories. Maybe I'll never get published. Who knows? But I'll be the most popular UN-published writer out there, dammit.
*SIGH* Why do I care?
Because I DO, dammit. I don't know why. Because it would be incredible to actually get paid, even a teensy amount, to do something I really enjoy. How many people go to work every day to push paper or change poopy diapers and they hate every second of it, and they wish they could be doing something they love?? Lots. I am already doing what I love. I just have to get paid for it. Hmmmm. I wonder if it will ever happen?
Maybe.
In the meantime, I will go to my dinner, and try not to ramble like a moron, and try not to spill my drink, and become friends with more writers on FB and write more blogs that make people laugh, and blah blah blah blah...
Brooke Moss.
