I should start a date-fail blog. I'm seriously really good at it. Spectacular falls of the human psyche variety. I think it would be must see tv - watch the blond single woman screw up time and time again.
I gotta point out I'm not morose - I'm fairly pragmatic about my fails - I even know why I fail - unfortunately after the fact. heh
Soooo how bad did I fail? So bad I can't even tell my friends how I did, cuz they'll shake their heads knowingly and say I'm my own worst enemy. And they're right.
So if you read my post below (read it), you'll know I didn't think he was that into me. I said I wasn't into him because he wasn't in to me and that's largely true. I liked him well enough - worth a second date. But...I NEED, capital N, a man who's 'into' me. He's gotta reveal very clearly and with some intensity that he's i n t o me. His into-me-ness will help uncover my own need - I protect myself otherwise.
Okay so that's not the fail part. Here goes:
I texted him this a.m. He was staying in a local hotel and I asked him to text me when he got up and take me out for breakfast. I was sure he wouldn't. Okay maybe not totally sure, but felt sure. I think in retrospect I was screwing up my own head. So I texted him,
"i have this feeling you're not that into me, I want you to know there's know hard feelings, it was a fun week." (we'd flirted and talked on the phone for a few days)
I texted at 7:00 ish.
He didn't reply until 7:30 ish.
"what makes you say that?" he asks.
"call it a gibble - that's the scientific term"
"Perhaps I have a gibble.", he says referring to maybe I don't like him.
"Nah, I think you're cool."
"I think you're cool too."
"Cool. Wanna do breakfast? My treat."
No answer
No answer
No answer - 15 minutes and counting
"What are you afraid of A & W? It's not that scary!"
No answer
No answer - 35 minutes and counting
"Heck I'm gonna have to do the 'right' thing and go to work. Sigh."
I leave for work. Five minutes later this text.
"Oh sorry I was having a shower, didn't get read your text till now. Thanks for the invite."
"Looooong shower", I say.
"I've had a shower, done my hair, got dressed and now driving to get a coffee." I finish.
No answer
No answer - 10 minutes pass
He calls.
I answer in a cheery voice - cuz that's who I am. He says hi and says he doesn't know what to say. He says my text got him wondering. It made him question if he'd done poorly on the date. I told him that wasn't my intention. I told him I was trying to relieve pressure for him, but instead I'd created it. I said I was sorry. He was cool and tried to get off the phone quickly - I made him stay on a bit longer - I changed the subject to something benign, hoping he'd realize I wasn't a crazy chick. I'm pretty sure it didn't work. We ended the call a few minutes later on a non-negative note. I texted later on in the morning.
"Hey there. You crossed my mind. (in a good way)".
I haven't heard - it's been a loooong time - 12 hours long.
I know I blew it. I also believe he'd consider me for another date if I was worth it to him I didn't do anything that bad. He's not the one - and I'm okay with that.
Next. *grin
Picture taken just before the date.
